JIJI

Salam~ :)

last sunday, i went out with some friends and my little brother. i was the one being the driver that day so i was assigned to pick them up and send them back home after that. my ex came too. my lil bro and him made a promise long time ago that my ex would treat him for the day. i knew it would be awkward with him (my ex) around cause i don't think we had that clean of a break up. he told me before that he'd wait for me until his heart leaves no space anymore for my return. but i know it wouldn't worked out anyway if i did. i just don't feel the same way anymore. long story short, i was being the plain old happy me, always cheerful, laughing at everything though they ain't funny (like my jokes) and i noticed him being rather gloomy all day. so when i got back home, he texted me. saying that its amazing how fast i changed my feelings and how normal i acted like he was just another memory from the past. well, what should i do then? its not like i havent felt miserable at all fr the past months. and i know that its fast. i hate it that i changed my mind too fast. but what can i do? its not something that i can control. people are people and sometimes we change our minds. i just wish that he could just man up about it and to stop saying things like, im forgetting you once n for all. there's nothing i can do to change his mind at all. im not in the right position to do so. i want him to forget about me, move on and be happy. and he agreed. but he chose the method of cutting me off. okay, i'll let you do that if you think that could help. i want the best for you. thinking about how hurt he is, im always blaming myself. how could i not? im a heartbreaker. im the most awful person in the whole universe. i just cant help it. i have to be true to myslf. if i dont, what good could it brings. it wouldnt be fair to either of us. i love you but i'm not in love with you. or am i with anyone else. there's somebody out there who's meant for me. and i hope i'll find him soon. not now. but soon. and i hope you will too. thanks for loving me all this time. we had been together for almost a year and it was my frst real relationship, it was special. live ur life well. and all the best. and i'll be okay. so, yeah. dont worry. :)

XOXO

-small boyon her bike-