crying me eyeballs out

I AM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!


why? why wont they choose me???! im tired of being rejected a lot! im tired of waiting anxiously for something that in the end would never be mine! im so jealous, envious, of the others who got interviews and accepted by matriks. i know im not interested at all in matrik, but i was really hoping to have some sort of back up if im not accepted at UIA. but now, back up ng langsung xda. God!
upsi and uitm didnt even accept me for tesl. that was such a dissapointment in the first place,and now matrik. Gahhhhh!!! im losing my mind. what? IC num ku terok glakka sampe suma xtrimak? my spm result that bad ka??? i didnt want to cry but i did. im so so so upset. im so so frustrated. im fucking mad. 
astaghfirullahalazim.
sabar nies. sabar. 
what if, i wouldnt gt into UIA. what would happen then? 
im scared. im scared that im left behind while the others are moving forward, knowing their next path to go. but i dont.


Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan ya Allah. makbulkanlah doa kua ya Allah. 


pray for me.


XOXO
-small boy on her bike-