I GOT A NEW FREE ORANGE BIKE XD

HELL YEAH!!!!

I might still be a bit down about not being accepted by matrik yesterday (not as if i really wanted it but...i just hate being rejected again and again) but!! as obvious as it is written in the title, i got a new bike today!! 

remember the bike i mentioned earlier? the free bike we ex spmers are gettin? well, i just retrieved mine today :) 

nabelle got it before me though cause she went and got it soon after the prize giving ceremony was over. when i got to the bike shop 3 days after, the bikes were all wiped out. wow. teenagers these days. they just got more impatient by the day dont they? ==''

so thats why i have been waiting, WAITING for a very long time for the new stocks to come. now that it has i am so excited :)

but, bells bike is slightly different than mine. gah. who am i kidding. its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different than mine. how? well, for starters, hers got a basket and mine doesnt. hers is more girlier ( you know, the ones with pictures of flowers on it) and mine can be used by both gender. hers is smaller, the perfect size for a girl. mine is humongous that my feet cant even reach the ground. XD haha!

why? there were 2 sizes of the new bikes. one is smaller, my size. the other one is....BIGGER. so i chose the bigger one. :3 why? well, a bit of a challenge wont hurt me...rite? haha!

it is so big that the tyres look bigger than me :) so yeah, imagine it.

at first i chose the colour pink. i like it sooo much cause its such a striking coulour that i could imagine everyone noticing it as i rode by. but after the bladder of the tyre burst twice, TWICE after being pumped, i started to think that maybe im too young to die :P

so i went with the colour orange. the colour strikes too so yeah. :DD

gah. i babbled too much. :) well, i enjoy babbling. dont u knw? im the queen of babble. whahaha~ cant wait to ride it round sukma with bells tomorrow.

till i babble next time. :)

XOXO

-small boy on her bike-

crying me eyeballs out

I AM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!


why? why wont they choose me???! im tired of being rejected a lot! im tired of waiting anxiously for something that in the end would never be mine! im so jealous, envious, of the others who got interviews and accepted by matriks. i know im not interested at all in matrik, but i was really hoping to have some sort of back up if im not accepted at UIA. but now, back up ng langsung xda. God!
upsi and uitm didnt even accept me for tesl. that was such a dissapointment in the first place,and now matrik. Gahhhhh!!! im losing my mind. what? IC num ku terok glakka sampe suma xtrimak? my spm result that bad ka??? i didnt want to cry but i did. im so so so upset. im so so frustrated. im fucking mad. 
astaghfirullahalazim.
sabar nies. sabar. 
what if, i wouldnt gt into UIA. what would happen then? 
im scared. im scared that im left behind while the others are moving forward, knowing their next path to go. but i dont.


Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan ya Allah. makbulkanlah doa kua ya Allah. 


pray for me.


XOXO
-small boy on her bike-

heart on my sleeve

salam~
first of all, i'm over my ex. thats right. i am. whatever he does it just doesnt bother me that much anymore. im not into anyone. i feel free, i feel like im in control again, and i feel as if i can do anything i want without caring what boys would think of me. i wanted to not think about feelings at the moment. but you know how absurd that sounds and how impossible it is especially for someone as self conscious as me. about a while ago, abul came into my life again after so long not hearing of him. we had fun, gone out and watch dvd tgether but that was just it. i dont feel anything towards him anymore, which i am extremely grateful i dont. why? cause he never change at all. he's still the same fickle-minded, stubborn, taking me as an option when-he's bored. so yeah, crossed his name from my heart years ago. and about abg alep. i liked him for 3 years straight when i was just starting highschool. i confessed my love to him when i was 15. n he didnt even say anything. just moved on as if anythng never happend. we still contacted one another sometime but not frequently. im over him too. but last week, when i went out with a senior of mine, she mentioned that abg alep has a long-term girlfriend named kak bai. i dont know who that is and what's her full name. i didnt care to ask, and my senior wont gonna tell me anyway. i was so shocked. i felt betrayed. he knew i liked him, yet he didn't reject me or whatsoever. he just lingered, and  left me hanging. what kind of person would do that???! if he could have just say it in the first place, that he liked somebody else, i would have understand and moved on. but the fucking reality was that he didnt, and he left me still having the hots for him even after he graduated from highschool and gone through the national service. god. i was such an idiot. im so glad im over bg alep. :)
now donkey, he's still there waiting for our 2 years deal. my feelings for him are mixed.  i like him. i really do. i want to give him the love i wanted to give. but instead im holding back cause im not ready. im sorry donkey that you're stuck and like someone like me. im sorry im such a horrible person that keep you waiting. im sorry. i've been thinking about you a lot. and i miss you so so much. deep in my heart i know its true. but i cant reach out. i made a vow. we made a vow. so that vow we shall follow. i dont want you to wait that long for me. im scared that you'd miss out the girl who's truly gonna be yours. so, live your life, and dont think of me too much. like i said, polah jak sukati for 2 years, and if both of us are single at that time, we'll try.
you're like the sweetest boy i ever met. and i love you for that.
thanks donkey :)

XOXO,
-small boy on her bike-

3 things i like [part 2] :

1. i love ice cream, in fact i scream for ice cream! XD my favourite flavour is the combination of chocolate and corn. its just sooo full of that corny-sweet and choco-bitter taste that i like and always yearn for on a hot day. :)
vanillas are yummy too and i cant stand strawberry. i dont knw why its just that i dnt like it very much :(
o well, ice cream is awesome! XD

2. im not a materialistic person but i do  like fashion and clothes a lot. i think i have a good eye at mix matching clothes so that they look good tgether. i think la, org diat me xtauk. hahah! but most of all, i like dresses than t shirts. Y? cause they are long and pretty. i prefer bright coloured ones and vintage-like. now i only have like, one dress, but im gonna keep adding it till my wardrobe are bout too burst. trust me, someday i will.

3. junkfoods!! i dnt care bout wat certain people cmmentd bout junkfoods runing our health and metabolisms and such but all i care bout is that junkfoods are yummy! they are so frigging delicious that just by one bite, i wanted to, wishing to eat it for all my life. but of course, that wont and cant happen. huh~ but i love them anyway. :)

im gonna get a bike!

SALAM~ :)


i cycled with around sukma with my bestfriend Bells today. she came by to my house with her new bike and asked if i wanted to ride around with her. actualy, we both are given a new bike each by the PBB for gettin 4as n above fr our spm. but i havent retrieve mine yet for i havent gt the time to go ti the shop. i did gt the frst look of the bike tho from nabelle since we're gonna get the same equal ones. hers was purple and there's a basket attached in front of the handle bars too. gah! im so excited to ride mine klak!! i can imagine me riding to syam's or bell's and a bag of dvds in the basket for our movie day! hah~ how more awesome can it be. well, of course i would have liked it more if they would just gve us money, but a bike is fine too.besides, i have always wanted a bike anyway. an orange one if i may! now, the 'small boy on her bike' is finally complete. :) 
till then,
XOXO
-small boy on her bike-

not much of a mess anymore

salam~ :)


my life was a mess. haha. thats quite a statement isn't it? but its true. i've been telling my friends all about it for these past few days so i dont think i want to share it here. 
what i can say is that, i've been helping myself out a lot and somehow some of the things i'm worried most about are finally settling down. i wont say it here. its just for me and my friends to know.
and for now, that's all i will say and all i will write :)

PINK : Fuckin' perfect

im really really into this song right now XD :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rax2PXiWA


Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look i'm still around.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, i've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me.


The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel.
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me yeahhh.
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Ohh pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You are perfect to me...

90 FACTS ABOUT GUYS YOU SHOULD KNOW. :)

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate it when the girl he likes flirts with other guys.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterward.
4. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t.
12. Guys do cry.
13. Don’t provoke a guy.
14. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
15. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
16. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you were thinking.
17. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
18. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
19. Guys hate gays.
20. Guys love their moms.
21. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
22. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
23. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
24. If a guy tells you he loves you once. He does.
25. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
26. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
27. Guys are very open about themselves.
28. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
29. No guy is bad when he is courting
30. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
31. Guys really admire girls that they like.
32. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
33. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.
34. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
35. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
36. Guys love girls with brains.
37. Guys virtually brag about anything.
38. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
39. Guys think too much.
40. Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
41. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does.
42. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls.
43. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
44. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
45. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
46. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-to-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
47. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
48. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
49. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
50. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
51. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s actually saying, “Please come and just listen to me”.
52. Guys don’t really have final decisions.
53. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
54. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
55. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
56. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he was wrong.
57. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
58. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
59. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
60. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
61. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
62. Guys like girls who are like their moms.
63. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
64. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
65. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
66. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
67. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
68. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
69. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
70. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
71. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
72. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
73. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they were wrong.
74. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
75. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
76. Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
77. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
78. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
79. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
80. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
81. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
82. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
83. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
84. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you.
85. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
86. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying.
87. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
88. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
89. Guys hate girls who overreact.
90. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

i cut and pasted from fatin turtle's blog. 

haha. thnks tien. :)

-small boy on her bike-

XOXO

August Rush mania~

salam~ 

today ive watched august rush again wth eman n daddy. mekrang ng suka ngulang2 ceta bha, haha. bsides, its been quite a while too. this is the songs sung by jonatahn rhys meyers in the movie. i absolutely adore these songs. the lyrics are like really deep and it touches somethng in me that none other songs has been able to before. haha. 

SOMETHING INSIDE 

When the one thing you're looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you're shivering cold
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

So long you've been running in circles
'Round what's at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm 

'Cause you're shivering cold
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

It was your first taste of love
Living upon what you had

It's the first thing you see when you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you

THIS TIME

Tonight the sky above 
Reminds me how to love 
Walking through wintertime, the stars all shine 
The angel on the stairs 
Will tell you I was there 
Under the front porch light 
On the mistery night 

I?ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines 
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds 
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind 
Would the wind be at my back 
Could I get you off my mind 
This time 

The neon lights and bars 
And headlights from the cars 
Started a symphony surrounding me 
The things I left behind 

Have melted in my mind 
And now there?s a purity inside of me 

I?ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines 
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds 
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind 
Would the wind be at my back 
Could I get you off my mind 
This time 

I?ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines 
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds 
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind 
Would the wind be at my back 
Could I get you off my mind 
This time

freddie hoghmore <3 <3

movies...<3 haha!

 -small boy on her bike-

XOXO

3 things i like [part 1] :

,

1. balloons : XDD they just make u smile dnt they? just by watching them. :)

2. jewelleries : hey, im a girl. jewellery is a MUST!!!

3. music : im a true music lover, hit me wth anythg, either its rock, jazz, ballads, punk, ill be sure to like em. except cgek jakla. dangdut. ugh~

will post more soon!

 -small boy on her bike-

XOXO

mode : reading~

 i wish i had my own library. :"( but oh well, borrowg books might be  lil sad but at least there's somethg to read rite? xpa, lak2 bla dah masok U n dah da duit, me bli dkpun. >:) 

currently im reading a book bu one of my favourte author, sarah dessen called 'the truth bout frever'. i read it bfore but somethng inside me feels like readg it again. n o cz, it aint mine. there are 3 books more waitg to be read as soon as im done wth this one. and those arent mine too. my dad said he'd buy me one. and i chose a classic by jane austen called 'the pride and prejudice'. but my mom said 'no'. guh!! mom, why cant u undrstand my passion fr books?!! mala jak pnjam nak org. eish! =='' xkira, mok juak beli!

tik tok. tik tok.

salam~

i hadn't expected any of this to happen. not now, maybe not ever. i didn't realize that within a short period, i could fall this hard, this deep, this serious for someone. for donkey, no less.
its not that i hate it. i actualy like the feeling of it. you know, that sort of feeling when you met someone you actualy could connect with. someone you could always count on to make you laugh earnestly from deep inside your broken heart. i can sense that my heart is slowly beginning to heal. glowing even.
its not that im seriously heartbroken, hell no. well, i did ask fr a break up from my ex last month. but i miss that feeling to be loved and cared for. and donkey was here, giving me all of that i had lost.
he's different. he's unique.he's special. its like a new experience to me, cause he's so different from all the guys i was intrestd in.
he's one of a kind. he's one in a million. and he's gonna be mine.
i was literally flying inside when he said he's serious about me. cause i was scared i'd be the only one feeling that way. i know we shudnt be thinking bout this now. and i dnt want to be in a relationship now too. im only 18. and he's 16. i'd wait for our 2years deal. cause im too, serious about him. by then, id be 20. and he'd be 18. we will both be adults at that time. waiting~

would you lemme keep ur heart? 

                                              hearts. hearts. hearts. hearts. hearts.hearts.hearts

i like the fact that ur so tall and i'd have to look up to meet your eyes whenever we talk. 

hey, if you're reading this. i really2 really2 really like you. :)

-small boy on her bike-

XOXO. 

Owlssss~

 the owl necklace n ring i wanted to buy the other day looked exactly like these. it was freakin xpensve so i dcided nt 2 buy em. bsdes, nantikan pegi study smennjung, kat sane murah2 je kan? :) lets hope i'll find another owl's jewellery's there. :)

rings 0.0

gahh! looking at these, makes me jealous! =='' God, i love jewelleries. <3 <3